If you are looking for a relationship with a transsexual woman from a western country, has happened to you meeting transvestite men, or the so-called ” crossdresser”. That’s common even in other countries of the world, but on the west side, the presence is major by numbers.
The transvestite and crossdresser may seem like transgender or trans women, or some could define themself a such to please you. Different aspects differ between a real trans woman and a transvestite. I don’t have anything against transvestite and crossdressers, but I consider it is right to extend the matter with a distinguish.
Transvestites aspiring to be transgender
To be a transsexual woman on the west side, it’s a difficult condition compared to Asia. But in both cases, it’s complicated anyway. Many transsexuals women the first period of their “Metamorphosis” ( allow me the term, or Transition if you like) and self-identify of gender identity, have been already in the phase of cross-dressing. That’s common before becoming a trans woman in all the ways.
They will appear more as Trav ( transvestites ), more than most at the beginning of their transformation ( transition, which began with HRT, hormone replacement therapy ) when their look and social life is about to consistent changes.
The ranges of ages are wide, from young 20 teens ( and even younger ) till the more adult age, over forty, and even more mature. Of course, the beginning of hormone replacement therapy ( also called hormonal cures ), has better results if started at a young age. This will make more passable ( feminine look ) the transsexual girl. The situation gets complicated instead when a transex woman began the transition at an advanced age. Where masculine features and male manners are more developed. Then, they will look more like Transvestites, rather a transsexual woman, even if they are no more crossdresser!
Exist many who want to be transsexual, but forced to live in transvestite condition. The reasons that can prevent ( stop ) the transition for transvestites aspiring to be transgender are different. To do coming out, for example, and show you true gender identity ( declaring to be gay, or transsexual women in the case of gender dysphoria), it’s always a difficult step. That’s the case of many transgenders and even gay people, because of the society we live in and its dogma.
Why is a crossdresser not a transsexual?
Some crossdresser aspiring to become transsexual ( sadly for them ), will never confront the transition path, the cosmetic process, and eventually surgery operation, for better living as a woman. Some will prefer (or be forced ) to live as transvestite ( normally only at night, or during intimate moments ), because of these fears and problems, or because they don’t see themselves as passable enough as women. That’s why they don’t live their femininity in the light of day 24 on 7 as transsexual women do.
It could also be because there are economic problems or family obstacles when these are against. To be transsexual require consistent economic resources, other than big determination and wish to live your own life with the gender identity you feel to belong. It is good to be aware of this if you are a trans-oriented man like me or simply a trans lover. A Major reason is if you having a relationship with a Western trans woman for the first time. Transgender women are very proud, and it’s right they are such because their life requires a lot of courage, efforts and determination. Then, pay very attention before calling someone a crossdresser or transvestite ( if ever you may have the occasion ). She could take it as a grave insult, beyond a heavy trauma for her. After all the efforts she does to live fully as a woman, that’s not really the case you do this false step.
Transvestites and Crossdresser are not transsexuals women
RuPaul Drag Queen
Different are the men who like only to dress as a woman. In the general case to them is nothing more than a sexual fantasy or fetish. These persons are not aspiring to become transsexual, and living their second life in secret, normally only at night, offering them self as mates for intimate moments. Some do it just for sex, or to earn some money ( the so-called mercenaries ). They could be simply a gay man who is bottom / passive; that like to play the female role in intimate cross-dressing.
What is a transvestite
The transvestites for a matter of fact are not transsexuals women. To them, is nothing more than sexual fantasy, and not a gender disorder or gender identity as the case of transgender. Transsexual women and transgender are persons who don’t feel to belong to the sex assigned at birth, but they feel like women trapped in a man body. Crossdressers, transvestites, transformists and Drag Queens can be simply men who do cross-dressing for work, at TV shows or drag queen clubs. A famous crossdresser / transvestite is RuPaul, at the tv show RuPaul’s Drag Race, and normally does cross-dressing just for work, and live his normal life out of the show as a man. In this case, could be not even gay, but straight.
For these reasons, a transsexual woman is not a transvestite.
How to recognise a Transvestite from a Transsexual and guess if are simply mercenaries
This ability is well-developed among transsexual girls. But when you are a man, and this world is new to you, for sure you’ll meet many difficulties. Will happen to you some bad experience, more than most on dating online on the internet. So, be good to understand if the person with who you are chatting is a man cross dresser or a real transgender woman, require some logical steps to follow and a bit of time.
The transvestite tends to focus on sexual talks and will try soon inviting you to have a date ( this is also common for trans prostitutes on internet hunting customers ). This is typical because normally the transvestites connect on chat when their sexual appetite gets high, or when they are looking for some money ( mercenaries )
So, when you notice that your chat gets soon on spicy talks and allusive, more or less, sexual referring, this is the signal. Being aware now will make you guess who could be behind the messages you read. They could also invite you on skype or webcam pretty soon, unless they trying to fool you by pretending to be transsexual, in that case, they may avoid that.
The second case, the pictures on their Facebook profile… These details will give you some hints where u can’t mistake. Transvestite looking for customers, in the common case will have pics where you see them at night on the streets, sexy erotic pose, often vulgar. Messages / post on their Facebook wall, where they tell about sexual experiences, o explicit public invite. This is pretty typical among men who are transvestite and mercenaries. Boasting of their sexual experience. In the general case, this is the most common profile that you will face.
Obviously, bear in mind that not all Transvestites are mercenaries, many just love cross-dressing to please themself and couple intimate moments, without second interests.
The transsexual woman
Transsexual Woman
A transsexual woman, on the other hand, will normally have a more delicate behaviour, natural feminine, sensitive ( unless she is a prostitute hunting customers ). She will probably have many pictures where you can see her during a daily life, passion and hobbies, friends and family. Even her look will be normally well cured. Transsexual women take care very much their femininity and physical appearance.
These simple basic tips could be not yet enough to determinate with who of the two you are talking with. I know it, but I believe that will give you already a good idea to understand and to confront the situation with major awareness and tact 😉
Conclusion
We should never jump to conclusion right away when we don’t know every well a person or a matter. This is a common rule that is valid for many things. This topic could also be extended on many other details that I didn’t mention. But if you want to add something, feel free to leave a comment and I’ll be happy to reply you! I’ll get back soon again on this topic in future articles, if you don’t wanna miss it, sign up to my newsletter and I’ll keep up to date!
